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  Skyler made an irritatingly good point. She hadn’t wanted Jake that time. Maybe fear had given her some new animal-like instincts. Maybe all this time her body had been telling her what her mind wouldn’t.

  Was it over between her and Jake?

  urgency

  His embrace was extremely tight, almost frantic-the type of hug you’d give someone heading off to prison.

  Tapeworm

  “ARE YOU SURE YOU DON’T WANT to hang out a little while longer?” Skyler asked with a nod toward downtown. They were standing next to a newsstand on Bleecker and Charles Street, only a few blocks from the boardinghouse. Gaia couldn’t believe how late it was. Darkness had come unnaturally fast, as if someone had hit a gigantic off switch.

  “I really can’t,” she replied, smiling apologetically. “I almost missed curfew last night and Suko has her radar on me. If I come home late, there’ll be hell to pay. I still think she has a room somewhere in the house that’s full of medieval torture devices.”

  Skyler laughed. “Wouldn’t be surprised. Still, I hate to end this. I’ve had so much fun.” He grabbed her hand and pulled it up, studying it under the lamplight.

  “Me too,” she replied. It had been a pretty good day overall. Skyler had planned the whole thing to perfection. He had shown her all his favorite hangouts. The kooky bookstore in the West Village. The combination music shop and café on Fifty-eighth. It had all been so nice and simple. In spite of a few confusing moments, she felt really close to Skyler and immensely grateful for his guidance.

  She stared down at her long, tapered fingers clasped within his thicker, sturdier ones. The dim lavender glow from the streetlight cast everything into soft focus, making it hard to see where her hand ended and his began—almost as if they’d been fused together.

  “Well, let’s go, then,” he said with a resigned sigh. “You have school tomorrow.”

  School. The word fell into her gut like a cannon-ball. Jake would be there. The FOHs. All the people she didn’t have the heart or energy to see.

  Suddenly she wanted Skyler to hold her hand forever, to lead her around and tell her what to do and what to think. Things were so much simpler with him around. With him she felt like she could handle anything. She felt almost . . . fearless.

  Just then he let go. “Come on,” he said, charging across the street. “Before the light changes.”

  Gaia looked down at her empty hand. It felt strange, almost incomplete. After a weekend in Skyler’s care, she didn’t want to go back to doing things alone. She wasn’t sure she could handle it. She’d have no guidance, no source of strength—a tapeworm without a host.

  “Gaia!”

  Skyler’s voice snapped her from her gloom. He was standing in the center of the street, beckoning to her. Trancelike, Gaia stepped off the curb and followed him.

  Beep! Beeeeeeep!

  She was only four steps away from joining Skyler on the center stripe when a taxicab careened around the corner, blaring its horn. There came a rush of light, noise, and movement. Her muscles seemed to spring in all directions. She saw the blinding headlights, heard the crunch of the tires against the asphalt, and felt her hip slide against the sharp contour of the front panel. Then Skyler was there, his strong arms pulling her toward him as the taxi sped away in a spray of smoke and diesel fumes.

  “Idiot!” he yelled after the cab as they hobbled in their clumsy embrace toward the other side of the street.

  Gaia stared at him. It was becoming her nightmare, the Scary Skyler image she’d seen after her fight in the alley and her freaky encounter with the vagrant. His face was a series of crisscrossed lines, and blue veins stood out on his forehead. There was no trace of his easygoing, regal spirit. His rage was almost primal. not unlike a pit bull’s.

  “It’s okay. I’m fine,” she said, craning her head to meet his eyes and calm him down. “It was my fault, really. I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

  “No. He was going way too fast. Man, I hate people like that!” He looked at her finally, his expression softening. “I’m just glad I was there to grab you.”

  “Yep. That’s you,” she said, grinning nervously. “My own personal superhero.”

  Skyler gave her a reassuring hug. Then they linked hands and continued toward the boardinghouse. See, she told herself. No biggie. Scary Skyler only emerges when he thinks you’re in danger. He’s just protective—not scary.

  “I’ve said this before, and I mean it,” he said, giving her hand a squeeze. “The city is a dangerous place. We’ve got to always look out for each other.”

  “Right,” she replied with a solemn nod.

  They walked in silence the rest of the way. Skyler’s words sank into her, making her think of poor, innocent D. He had to have read her e-mail by now. Maybe he’d written her back? At last she had something to look forward to back at Collingwood.

  Soon they were standing on the sidewalk in front of the tall brownstone. Obviously people were still up. Pale yellow light shone from beneath the shades of two windows above the front stoop, reminding her of two heavily lidded eyes and a gaping mouth.

  “Here you are,” Skyler announced, as if this had been Gaia’s main destination all along. As if she couldn’t wait to go in and get swallowed up by the house.

  “Yeah. Home sweet home,” she said glumly.

  “It’s not too late to change your mind.” He raised his brows expectantly.

  “No. I can’t risk a major Suko freak-out. She’d probably get my dad, the cops, and the mayor on my ass.”

  “Fine. But I wish you didn’t have to stay here,” he said, giving the house a dirty look.

  “We’ll see each other again soon,” Gaia said. She felt anxious to please him. Somehow she sensed that her refusal to stay out longer upset him, even if he said he understood.

  “How about tomorrow?” he suggested. “I can meet you after school.”

  School. There was that word again. Gaia’s stomach seemed to be on a plummeting freight elevator. But then . . . if she had Skyler to look forward to, maybe it would be enough to get her through the day?

  “Sounds perfect,” she said. “I’ll meet you out front.”

  Skyler stepped forward and Gaia braced herself for another prolonged kiss. This time she wouldn’t be taken off guard. This time she would focus on what was there and figure out how she really felt.

  Only this time Skyler opened his arms and pulled her into a hug. “Good night,” he murmured.

  Gaia felt somewhat let down. She’d wanted it to happen again—if only to analyze it. She waited to see if the cuddling evolved into something more, but he just kept holding her close. Yet his embrace was extremely tight, almost frantic—the type of hug you’d give someone heading off to prison.

  “Sleep well, okay?” he whispered in her ear. “I really hate leaving you here.” His pity seemed to pass through to her, making her feel even more miserable.

  “I will,” she replied, pulling away.

  She turned and walked toward the house, hating it more with every step. Skyler was right. She didn’t belong here. What exactly was she returning to, anyway? Just a few worldly possessions and, hopefully, an e-mail from her brother. That was it.

  This wasn’t a home. It was an oversized locker. Maybe she should move out.

  At the door she turned and waved to Skyler. He lifted his hand and then started off down the block, vanishing into the shadows.

  Gaia stepped inside, glancing about in case Suko was waiting with one of her hypercritical stares. But no one was downstairs. As quietly as she could, she crept up the creaky staircase and into her bedroom.

  There is a god, she thought as she shut the door with a satisfying click. Now she could check for D.’s e-mail in peace.

  She reached over and turned on the light. Then suddenly, as if the switch had triggered some inner mechanism of her own, she spun around and raised her hands in a fighting stance.

  Someone was there. She had seen them out of the corner
of her eye, crouched in the nook beyond her bed. And that someone was rising up and heading right for her.

  Wounded Pride

  “GAIA.”

  Jake was so glad to see her. He had an overwhelming urge to scoop her up and hold her close, reversing the effects of those long hours of worry.

  But she remained in her attack stance, a variety of expressions playing over her face. “What the hell are you doing here?” she said finally.

  “I had to see you. I’ve been looking everywhere.”

  Gaia lowered her hands, but still she didn’t approach him. Her eyes tapered into narrow slits, regarding him coolly. “And you thought breaking into my room would be the best approach?”

  “It was the only way,” he said, plopping onto her bed. “Suko wasn’t about to let me through the door. I just had to see you and make sure you were all right.”

  “I’m fine,” she snapped.

  “Right. Good.” Jake was completely thrown by her hostile tone. After all, he wasn’t the one who’d stayed over at someone else’s house. He hadn’t ignored countless phone messages.

  Stay cool. Get a grip. He tried to remember why he was there, the urgency of his mission. “I have something important to tell you. To warn you about.”

  “What is it?” she asked, softening only slightly.

  “We think Skyler Rodke might be behind some of this bad stuff that’s been happening to you.”

  Gaia’s features gaped wide with surprise, then gradually froze over. “Oh, really? We think that, do we? By ‘we’ do you mean you and your new best friend, Loki?”

  “It’s Oliver!” he shouted. “And yes. He has good reasons for being suspicious.”

  “Well, whatever he thinks, he’s wrong.”

  “Gaia, listen,” he began slowly. He shifted on the bed, searching her eyes for any sign of logical thought. “I went over to the Rodkes’ a couple of nights ago, looking for you. While I was there, I found your hair elastic—the one those IV heads pulled off you during the fight.”

  “Christ, that could be anyone’s. That doesn’t prove a thing.”

  He shook his head. “You can’t take that chance. You’ve got to stay away from Skyler—maybe all the Rodkes.”

  “Why?” she argued, her voice rising. “Skyler has been nothing but good to me all this time, and now you accuse him of some sort of scheming? Based on what? A rubber band? Do you realize how stupid that sounds? He actually cares about me. He looks out for me and makes sure I’m okay—unlike some people who never call.”

  “I did call,” Jake cried, jumping up from the bed. “I called half a dozen times! I even came by and—”

  “Spare me!” she hissed, giving a sardonic jerk of her head. “I don’t want to hear any more of your lies. If anyone’s been doing some scheming against me, it’s you and that freak uncle of mine!”

  Jake was stunned by the intensity of her wrath. He could barely recognize her rutted, red-streaked face. In the time he’d known her, he’d seen a wide collection of angry looks on Gaia’s face, but this was by far the worst.

  “Gaia, calm down. Will you just listen for a minute?” He paused, waiting in case she went off on him again. But she just stood there, quietly glaring at him. “You have to admit there could be a connection,” he went on. “Think about it. All the trouble with the IV heads? It started when the Rodkes came to town. And now the hair band just happens to turn up at their house? It’s too much to be coincidence. Skyler could be—”

  “Shut up!” she shouted.

  Jake stared at her in mute horror. Her eyes were wide and wild, and her entire body looked tense, almost like she wanted to hit him. Seeing her so unbalanced was at once jarring and tragic and strangely ominous. In the long, squirming moment that followed, he considered whether it would be both feasible and advisable to grab Gaia in a half nelson and wrestle her into a straitjacket.

  “Now you listen to me,” Gaia continued. Her voice was lowered but her fists were still clenched tight. “Skyler is amazing. He needs me—unlike you. All you ever wanted from me was getting a thrill off my crazy, danger-filled life. And now you’re teaming up with Loki, trying to freak me out even more, just so you can play spy! Well, guess what? It’s not going to work. I’ll never turn on Skyler. In fact . . . I’m going to prom with him.”

  “What?” Something was horribly wrong here. He was worried sick about her safety and she was babbling on about prom? At what point did things go from all-out whack job to completely incomprehensible?

  “That’s right. So really, there’s no reason for us to be together anymore. We’re through. Finished. Cremated. Go find some other girl to play mind games with.”

  “Gaia,” he said softly, reaching out for her. He had never meant for it to get this bad between them. He knew he’d screwed up. He’d been anxious, mad, full of wounded pride. He’d forgotten his promise to listen to her.

  “Get off!” she spat, shrinking back from his arms. “I mean it! If you don’t get out of here right now, I’ll scream for Suko.”

  Jake stepped back, scanning her face for irony or guilt, but there was none. He had no doubt she’d make good on her threat. And having already been threatened by Suko to have the cops sicced on him, he really didn’t want to risk another tangle with her.

  He held Gaia’s gaze a few seconds longer and then turned away. Walking over to the window, he threw his legs over the sill and scooted along the narrow ledge to the nearby trellis. Then he slowly climbed down, keeping his eyes on Gaia as she watched from the window.

  Funny. For days he’d been praying just to see her. He figured if he had the chance to talk to her, he could reason with her, get her to understand the danger she might be in.

  Now he’d gotten his wish. He’d seen her. He’d talked with her. He’d delivered his warning. And now he was more worried than ever.

  Because the one thing he hadn’t thought possible had actually happened—Gaia Moore had completely lost her grip.

  Little Bitty Test

  GAIA FELT A TUG AS SHE WATCHED Jake lope dejectedly into the night. Was it remorse? No. She was way too angry for that. It was more like . . . a shallow grief. Like the nostalgia one got tossing out a favorite pair of jeans: lots of good times, could have been more, but there were way too many rips to be mended.

  Served him right, she told herself, turning away from the sill. She’d been out of her mind with anger. She probably shouldn’t have lied about going to prom with Skyler, but she couldn’t stand to hear the crazy things Jake was saying about him.

  Skyler had been so right. The guy was just a macho thrill seeker. Only a true sicko would jump out of a dark corner like that, trying to freak her out.

  Yet . . . A sudden realization swept over her, like an overly aggressive heat rash. . . . She hadn’t been scared at all. She’d come home to find someone lurking in her room and hadn’t been the least bit afraid!

  Gaia slowly replayed the episode in her mind. It was true. She’d been angry with him for using such a stupid, Loki-like tactic. And she was still sore at him for not calling the past couple of days. But there wasn’t the slightest hint of fear. Not a single skipped heartbeat.

  “Wait a minute,” she whispered, grabbing ahold of the bedpost. “It’s been longer than that.”

  Closing her eyes, she mentally skimmed over the events of the day. The subway doors catching her arm had been frustrating, but it hadn’t made her pulse race. And when the cab careened around the corner, Skyler assumed he’d saved her in the nick of time. But really, it was her own quick reaction that made her sidestep the car—Skyler only yanked her out of the way a second after she’d avoided getting hit. If she’d been frozen by fear, she would have been run over for sure. Come to think of it, she hadn’t experienced a trace of fear all day.

  What happened to my fear? she wondered. Is it fading? Is it gone?

  There was one way to know for sure. Gaia grabbed a jacket off her desk chair and quickly pulled it on.

  Wait, no. She paused in
the middle of zipping up. This was stupid. She could be making a huge, dangerous mistake.

  But then, she had to know, didn’t she? She owed it to herself to find out what was happening to her.

  Okay. She’d do it. She headed over to her open window and swung her legs over the sill.

  She’d just check it out for a while. Nothing crazy. Just a little bitty test.

  From: megan21@alloymail.com

  To: shred@alloymail.com

  Re: promstuff

  Hey! I heard you asked Kai to prom. You guys are too, too cute! Looks like everyone is paired up. Well, almost everyone. I guess you heard what Gaia did to poor Jake. What a shock, huh? You were smart to break up with her when you did. I would hate to think of her doing something like that to you.

  From: megan21@alloymail.com

  To: heatherg@alloymail.com

  Re: Warning

  Hey, girl! How are you?

  Just wanted to keep you up to date on what’s been going on here . . . Listen, I know I know she’s your friend and all and that you guys have been keeping in touch while you’ve been away, but you need to hear what sort of things Gaia is up to. I know it’s probably none of my business, but I’m only concerned about you.

  Gaia is up to her wicked, wicked ways again. She totally cheated on Jake with Skyler Rodke. I’m serious. The girl obviously has a major ego problem when it comes to men.

  I’m only telling you this for your own good. She has major loyalty issues—if she can’t stay true to her boyfriends, then she probably can’t stay true to her girlfriends, either.

  From: megan21@alloymail.com

  To: jakem@alloymail.com

  Re: Moving on

  Hey. I just wanted to say that I’m sooo sorry about what Gaia did to you. None of us can believe she would stoop this low. You deserve better and you know it.

  So have you ever considered asking Laura out?

  mother ship

  This was what she was meant to do. She knew it with every hormonally charged molecule in her being.

  Technicolor Fantasies